Cutting a smile

Cutting a smile

Push the blade stronger

To cut a smile,

There’s no use to linger

You lived too long in a lie.

So, now you’ll smile forever,

No more faking or masks,

Because knife knows better

Your purpose, your tasks.

The smile will show them,

How truly happy you’re,

The knife will show them,

How deeply pure your intentions are.

Because you can’t share their sickness,

They twisted and shattered your mind too far,

Leaving you not sane, faceless,

To wash yourself pure in their blood.

© Laura Dambite, 2014.

Well, wanted to write something about how bad could be if society forces people to wear smiles, masks. Somehow it turned not the way I wanted, but… well it’s late October and Halloween is tomorrow… so it inspires me in some strange, creepy way…  The poem reminds me something about Jeff the killer from Creepypasta… I’m not an expert on that… but what brings me my Muse, I’m accepting gladly...

The sea of memories

The sea of memories

Sailing through waves of memories,

Waiting until I’ll start to live…

I’m lost in this sea,

It’s a raindrop, but it’s an ocean to me…

I’ve found nothing worth to love,

The sea showed me, people come and go…

But it didn’t swallowed my believes,

My ship is a wreck, still it swims…

Sun is burning me alive,

Still I stand and keep the land in eye…

Someday I’ll reach that shore,

Even if my journey leaves me sore…

I’m not afraid to sink,

I need to stop waiting, start living…

Hope will be my guiding wind,

Sails already rising…

Sailing through my memories,

Waves of blue and green…

And one day, I believe,

I’ll reach the land of reality…

© Laura Dambite, 2014.

So this is where I’m now in my live… I’m ready to leave my past behind, to sail through storms… I’m not waiting anymore… It’s time to start living, not existing… I’m truly happy, that I finally understand it…

Childish fears and autumn leaves

Childish fears and autumn leaves

You asked me once…

What if autumn takes my heart?

Covers it with leaves

And colors the way it likes?

So I won’t be able to recognize it?

What if I’ll be heartless?

Living, but loving no one,

What if I turn faceless?

Like one of the leaves in the Fall…

No one will know the difference,

Who can tell leaves apart?

They all are nameless,

So will be I…

And I’ll cry with the rain for my heart,

Till autumn returns it cold and numb,

So winter could steal it, again,

Leaving me with empty hands.

But where’s your heart?

Is it in your chest, beating?

Or spring took it?

And summer burned it?

And I had nothing to answer…

© Laura Dambite, 2014.

Where this came from, I don’t know, it’s autumn’s fault… I think… Just remembered how a child asked me such things…

She was afraid that seasons change and her heart’s changing too, that one day she’ll wake and won’t be able to separate lie from truth… that she won’t recognize herself and others won’t tell, what’s wrong with her, when she looks the same, won’t see the change, she’s going through…

Is she me? Is she you? Is she someone we know or knew? I know the answer, so do you…

Black bonds

Black bonds

ADORE ME!

PRAISE ME!

LOVE ME!

FEED ME!

BEFORE I’LL HURT YOU AGAIN,

BEFORE I’LL TROW YOUR HEART AWAY,

BEFORE I’LL SPLIT YOUR SKULL IN HALF,

BEFORE I’LL DEVOUR YOUR LIFE!     

BE MY SUN,

BE MY MOON,

BEFOFE MY GUN,

KILLS THE FUN!

DON’T DEAR TO IGNORE ME,

DON’T DEAR TO LEAVE,

DON’T DEAR TO DEACEVE ME,

DON’T DEAR TO LIVE…

WITHOUT ME

YOU’RE NOTHING!

COME BACK HERE,

NOW!!!

Please,

I beg you...

I need you…

I love you…

Please…

© Laura Dambite, 2014.

This is how I see abusive relationships and I’ll never understand why people still come back to the ones, who hurt them or try to save their relationships… like there is not enough pain in this world already. I’m not speaking only about love, about friendships too…

It not really a poem, it’s just some expression of feelings, I don’t know…

A shattered mirror (Words, dedication)

Believe me, in the end nothing matters, it will be only you facing yourself.

Your body is a shattered mirror, which could never reflect who you were, no matter how you tried to fix it trough your life, it never reflected you completely. Never showed you in your blossom or rot, your colors and feelings never reached the surface. As you believed it’s inappropriate for anything, as you shattered it.

But let go of it now, you’re beyond ugly and beautiful, you’re only energy without a form. Do standards, norms, forms, lies and who you should, could be, strangle you now? Do you still want to fit in? But you can’t, because now your simply accepted the way you are.

But, my dear, you always were accepted, you always fitted in, and there was no other way around. Even if your eyes were burned by the sun and you couldn’t see what’s on the ground and around. Didn’t you felt us holding your hand, whispering words in your ear, never believed in promises we made and words we said? Do you even remember you had friends?

But you can’t hear us, we know, in the end, you’re just a shattered mirror on the floor. 

Freedom

Freedom

You’re truly free,

My dear.

Cut off the ropes around your neck,

Cut off the hands on your shoulders,

And you’ll have only a road under your feet.

But do not wait the same

From others.

Freedom is personal thing,

A unique language,

Which only bugs in your head speak.

Also it’s a lonely trip,

With no real destination.

My dear,

Is this what you truly want?

© Laura Dambite, 2014.

A human will always long for freedom, even if he’ll never realize to an end, what freedom truly is. Is it only a desire burning deep inside? Is it only a flame dancing afar? Or is it loneliness with empty heart? Or something we already have, but are too blind to behold? I don’t know… do you?

Anxiety

Anxiety

Cold, collected

Light

In a pill.

Shades of grey

Devour

What you feel.

Lungs full

With dust

And dreams.

Worries

About people,

You don’t miss.

Silence

Takes away

Your will.

Until you wake

And question,

Is this all for real?

© Laura Dambite, 2014.

Nothing much to comment… Sometimes, I feel like I’m taken hostage by it, like it doesn’t depend on me, it’s here, strangling me, an invisible enemy… but it’s only an emotion, my own, I think… I wish it would be easier to fight… I wish…

Hello, my no one (Thoughts)

I know, you believe that your life has no meaning, you’re nothing more than rain drop falling down. Only to see how fast life runs by and how easy is it to crash against the cold ground. Meaningless, worthless like the cold rain in autumn morning, raining only to prove everything comes to an end and everything dies. Hitting hard against black umbrellas, like people already don’t hate it enough.

But dear no one, rain is nothing more, but life itself.

And, yes, it’s knocking, calling everyone out to close the umbrellas of ignorance and face the open sore, they try to push aside. People nowadays are afraid of living, afraid that one day they’ll realize, they’re nobody and their endless run means nothing.

They’re afraid to stop, question everything, they’re afraid to be you, to stand in the rain, to show the world how broken they are.

But are you broken? Did you ever were whole? Complete? Normal? Different? Maybe yourself? Someone else?

And did you ever felt, that we are living in some sick fantasy of a norm created by a psycho from a daydream about a perfect society?

At the dawn

At the dawn

Clouds are flying by,

I lost my count of time,

All I know for sure it’s dawn,

It’s always dawn…

We’re still at the beginning,

We didn’t got too far,

From playing roles

Or changing forms…

Like clouds…

We’re awake and aware

Of sun inside our veins,

Of rain behind our eyes

It still storms in our minds.

But we want to be something more,

To dream big, dig deep,

So we question and doubt,

Are we human in the core?

Are we clouds?

© Laura Dambite, 2014.

Just my thoughts flying with clouds at raising sun… I still question, who we are? What for are we here? Where are we going? And every time the answer differs… But I believe – the one and truly answer can be found in our bond with nature, with endless energy of life that surrounds us.

Happiness

A autumn flower for you...

Happiness

You’re searching happiness,

It’s a word,

But life isn’t a dictionary

That you hold.

Because sky remains always grey,

Even if it’s clear,

And people still wait

For a better day.

Maybe we all live in shells,

And with a smile protect ourselves?

Maybe we forgot there’s something more,

Than we can buy in a store?

Because something fell apart,

When the years started to run.

From childhood to now,

Leaving us to question – what?

You’re searching happiness,

It’s near,

It’s beating in you,

Can’t you hear?

© Laura Dambite, 2010.

It’s an old poem, which I found in my pile of poems, stories and other writings. It’s from the time, when I loved to write over every piece of paper I had in sight and afterwards to lose them… sigh…

But I like this one, it’s a bit childish, a bit naïve and pure… it’s like the never ending hope that I had once inside… do I still have it? I doubt it sometime… And did I found my inner happiness?

Did you found yours?

She still exists

She still exists

She still storms,

In her own skies,

Even if the white clouds

Made her powerless.

She still prays,

To sail through all lies,

Even if society

Made her faithless.

She still believes,

Promises will come to life,

Even if her friends

Made her trustless.

She still waits,

Her heart to beat,

Even if his words

Made her lifeless.

© Laura Dambite, 2014.

It’s so easy to break down people, to take away everything from them and watch them struggle, crawl and still try… I will never understand, accept, justify the ones hurting other, physically or with words, because no reason is big enough to harm another human being. Pain creates only pain.

I adore the ones, who went through hell and did not lost their will to live, who still can find happiness in small things, who can smile, hope and believe… But if the hell broke them, I believe there’s away to heal them, to return the sun in their skies.

So, please, never lose hope, you’ll get trough everything… please still try and move forward… better days will come.

Autumn’s path

Autumn’s path

Wind,

Blow me away,

Can I be just a falling leaf?

Weak, defenseless summer’s thief.

Rain,

Wash me clean,

From the doubt under my skin,

Take me away from the world of make believe.

Sun,

Kiss me goodbye,

I’ll treasure days under blue sky,

They’ll shine in my eye.

Earth,

Tell me again,

Flowers aren’t forever gone,

Give me strength to move on.

© Laura Dambite, 2014,

Autumn is completely taken over me… and I don’t mind, it’s easy to find beauty in it, in everything autumn touches… even if it is a goodbye, it’s lovely one, a warm one… until the rain turns into snow…

But now all I want is to get lost in the autumn…

Stairway to nowhere

Stairway to nowhere

People come,

People go,

Nothing changes.

You are alone,

You always were,

Friends turn in to strangers

There is no second chance...

And after all,

A pile of hope,

Still burns in your hands,

But you’ve lost your name.

You’re no one,

Everything around you

Is an another life,

It doesn’t bound you,

It doesn’t want you,

But it’s your only way through.

Way to tomorrow,

To the rainy skies,

A stairway to nowhere,

When heaven can’t be found…

© Laura Dambite, 2012.

It’s strange that after I wrote this poem my life changed completely. And it’s funny, that after I almost gave in, I found a way trough my storms, it’s more like the way found me… I believe, the most important thing in our life is moving forward… making a step and then another one and watch how darkness fades to light. 

Well, it's my first poem, my first step forward...

Hello...

I’m Laura Dambite and it’s a part of my heart, a heart chamber, em, I mean it’s my blog. So, somehow you’re here, where my blood pumps, I mean, where I post poetry, thoughts and other stuff.

I hope I didn’t scare you off, but I created this place, blog, because I wanted to express my feelings, thoughts, everything that boils, lives, and grows inside of me. Because I can’t stop writing, it’s my remedy, my curse, even if no one cares about it, I still hope, that what I create will give someone something to think about. Even if I will inspire one little soul or make it think or feel, I’ll be the happiest person in the world, because it’s all won’t be vain.

But I’ll warn you, English is not my mother language, so there may be mistakes, I’m not perfect, but still I’ll try my best, so I don’t mind if you correct me, please do so.

All I publish is written by me, if you want to use it somehow, somewhere, please message me.