Autumn’s gray skies (Feelings, Thoughts)

Autumn’s gray skies 

I see our sadness gathering the rain clouds, but it never rains, as those clouds are empty, all the water already ran down our cheeks… But still the clouds won’t leave the autumn skies and people don’t recognize, separate them from the real ones, we’re used to the gray and endless autumn’s sky… and feed them saying that we’re “fine”, only to break down when we’re alone… and, God, why it sounds so normal, like it’s the only life we know, like it’s the right way to live… are you okay with it?

We create those gray skies, we cover the sun with our own clouds of fear, doubt, sadness, denial, pain, hate, weakness… like we don’t deserve the sun, light and love… we voluntary sing the lullaby of endless sleep and self-negation… so we could justify our inner death and don’t move forward…

Some of us are cowards, some hurt or broken, other numb or given up… and the saddest part is that we’re fine with it… not ready, not trying, not wanting to help and be helped, heal and be healed, care and be cared for, ask and listen, give and take… because then we need to force ourselves to do something, for us, for others, for a better day… But we are worth to take and share the best this life and world can give us… all what we need to do is take a step and stretch a hand… to fall into the world full of love, light, understanding and acceptance… give all your love, hope, strength and you’ll receive three times more…

It won’t be easy in the beginning… the storm will take away your peaceful sadness, but the things you’ll discover will be worth it… maybe even strange… when you’ll rediscover your beloved ones, your friends, your home… see them in full of sun colors… because you can still fall in love with this world… you may not believe it… I didn’t too… I used to create those clouds like you…

I can see the sun breaking through the clouds, can feel how many eyes looked up and how many lips cracked a smile… and how many will do, when they’ll let go the clouds, their fear and doubt, other things keeping them down… and accept the sun, shining for every one of us…

Laura Dambite

In the rain

In the rain

Stay with me in the rain,

It’s cold,

So am I,

But you’re the fire,

I will never be able to touch…

So different,

Yet, we cross our paths,

Only to see

How our worlds collide,

There’s nothing more.

Because I will never be like you,

Alive,

With a burning heart,

Loved by life,

My smile will never awake a smile.

But let me embrace you

Through the rain,

If this feeling is real,

There nothing can stand in between,

Only reality…

© Laura Dambite, 2013.

It’s raining again, I like how rain opens doors that lead to days full of happiness and pain, to memories I can’t escape… 

Cutting a smile

Cutting a smile

Push the blade stronger

To cut a smile,

There’s no use to linger

You lived too long in a lie.

So, now you’ll smile forever,

No more faking or masks,

Because knife knows better

Your purpose, your tasks.

The smile will show them,

How truly happy you’re,

The knife will show them,

How deeply pure your intentions are.

Because you can’t share their sickness,

They twisted and shattered your mind too far,

Leaving you not sane, faceless,

To wash yourself pure in their blood.

© Laura Dambite, 2014.

Well, wanted to write something about how bad could be if society forces people to wear smiles, masks. Somehow it turned not the way I wanted, but… well it’s late October and Halloween is tomorrow… so it inspires me in some strange, creepy way…  The poem reminds me something about Jeff the killer from Creepypasta… I’m not an expert on that… but what brings me my Muse, I’m accepting gladly...

Black bonds

Black bonds

ADORE ME!

PRAISE ME!

LOVE ME!

FEED ME!

BEFORE I’LL HURT YOU AGAIN,

BEFORE I’LL TROW YOUR HEART AWAY,

BEFORE I’LL SPLIT YOUR SKULL IN HALF,

BEFORE I’LL DEVOUR YOUR LIFE!     

BE MY SUN,

BE MY MOON,

BEFOFE MY GUN,

KILLS THE FUN!

DON’T DEAR TO IGNORE ME,

DON’T DEAR TO LEAVE,

DON’T DEAR TO DEACEVE ME,

DON’T DEAR TO LIVE…

WITHOUT ME

YOU’RE NOTHING!

COME BACK HERE,

NOW!!!

Please,

I beg you...

I need you…

I love you…

Please…

© Laura Dambite, 2014.

This is how I see abusive relationships and I’ll never understand why people still come back to the ones, who hurt them or try to save their relationships… like there is not enough pain in this world already. I’m not speaking only about love, about friendships too…

It not really a poem, it’s just some expression of feelings, I don’t know…

A shattered mirror (Words, dedication)

Believe me, in the end nothing matters, it will be only you facing yourself.

Your body is a shattered mirror, which could never reflect who you were, no matter how you tried to fix it trough your life, it never reflected you completely. Never showed you in your blossom or rot, your colors and feelings never reached the surface. As you believed it’s inappropriate for anything, as you shattered it.

But let go of it now, you’re beyond ugly and beautiful, you’re only energy without a form. Do standards, norms, forms, lies and who you should, could be, strangle you now? Do you still want to fit in? But you can’t, because now your simply accepted the way you are.

But, my dear, you always were accepted, you always fitted in, and there was no other way around. Even if your eyes were burned by the sun and you couldn’t see what’s on the ground and around. Didn’t you felt us holding your hand, whispering words in your ear, never believed in promises we made and words we said? Do you even remember you had friends?

But you can’t hear us, we know, in the end, you’re just a shattered mirror on the floor. 

Anxiety

Anxiety

Cold, collected

Light

In a pill.

Shades of grey

Devour

What you feel.

Lungs full

With dust

And dreams.

Worries

About people,

You don’t miss.

Silence

Takes away

Your will.

Until you wake

And question,

Is this all for real?

© Laura Dambite, 2014.

Nothing much to comment… Sometimes, I feel like I’m taken hostage by it, like it doesn’t depend on me, it’s here, strangling me, an invisible enemy… but it’s only an emotion, my own, I think… I wish it would be easier to fight… I wish…

Hello, my no one (Thoughts)

I know, you believe that your life has no meaning, you’re nothing more than rain drop falling down. Only to see how fast life runs by and how easy is it to crash against the cold ground. Meaningless, worthless like the cold rain in autumn morning, raining only to prove everything comes to an end and everything dies. Hitting hard against black umbrellas, like people already don’t hate it enough.

But dear no one, rain is nothing more, but life itself.

And, yes, it’s knocking, calling everyone out to close the umbrellas of ignorance and face the open sore, they try to push aside. People nowadays are afraid of living, afraid that one day they’ll realize, they’re nobody and their endless run means nothing.

They’re afraid to stop, question everything, they’re afraid to be you, to stand in the rain, to show the world how broken they are.

But are you broken? Did you ever were whole? Complete? Normal? Different? Maybe yourself? Someone else?

And did you ever felt, that we are living in some sick fantasy of a norm created by a psycho from a daydream about a perfect society?

She still exists

She still exists

She still storms,

In her own skies,

Even if the white clouds

Made her powerless.

She still prays,

To sail through all lies,

Even if society

Made her faithless.

She still believes,

Promises will come to life,

Even if her friends

Made her trustless.

She still waits,

Her heart to beat,

Even if his words

Made her lifeless.

© Laura Dambite, 2014.

It’s so easy to break down people, to take away everything from them and watch them struggle, crawl and still try… I will never understand, accept, justify the ones hurting other, physically or with words, because no reason is big enough to harm another human being. Pain creates only pain.

I adore the ones, who went through hell and did not lost their will to live, who still can find happiness in small things, who can smile, hope and believe… But if the hell broke them, I believe there’s away to heal them, to return the sun in their skies.

So, please, never lose hope, you’ll get trough everything… please still try and move forward… better days will come.