Autumn’s gray skies (Feelings, Thoughts)

Autumn’s gray skies 

I see our sadness gathering the rain clouds, but it never rains, as those clouds are empty, all the water already ran down our cheeks… But still the clouds won’t leave the autumn skies and people don’t recognize, separate them from the real ones, we’re used to the gray and endless autumn’s sky… and feed them saying that we’re “fine”, only to break down when we’re alone… and, God, why it sounds so normal, like it’s the only life we know, like it’s the right way to live… are you okay with it?

We create those gray skies, we cover the sun with our own clouds of fear, doubt, sadness, denial, pain, hate, weakness… like we don’t deserve the sun, light and love… we voluntary sing the lullaby of endless sleep and self-negation… so we could justify our inner death and don’t move forward…

Some of us are cowards, some hurt or broken, other numb or given up… and the saddest part is that we’re fine with it… not ready, not trying, not wanting to help and be helped, heal and be healed, care and be cared for, ask and listen, give and take… because then we need to force ourselves to do something, for us, for others, for a better day… But we are worth to take and share the best this life and world can give us… all what we need to do is take a step and stretch a hand… to fall into the world full of love, light, understanding and acceptance… give all your love, hope, strength and you’ll receive three times more…

It won’t be easy in the beginning… the storm will take away your peaceful sadness, but the things you’ll discover will be worth it… maybe even strange… when you’ll rediscover your beloved ones, your friends, your home… see them in full of sun colors… because you can still fall in love with this world… you may not believe it… I didn’t too… I used to create those clouds like you…

I can see the sun breaking through the clouds, can feel how many eyes looked up and how many lips cracked a smile… and how many will do, when they’ll let go the clouds, their fear and doubt, other things keeping them down… and accept the sun, shining for every one of us…

Laura Dambite

Cutting a smile

Cutting a smile

Push the blade stronger

To cut a smile,

There’s no use to linger

You lived too long in a lie.

So, now you’ll smile forever,

No more faking or masks,

Because knife knows better

Your purpose, your tasks.

The smile will show them,

How truly happy you’re,

The knife will show them,

How deeply pure your intentions are.

Because you can’t share their sickness,

They twisted and shattered your mind too far,

Leaving you not sane, faceless,

To wash yourself pure in their blood.

© Laura Dambite, 2014.

Well, wanted to write something about how bad could be if society forces people to wear smiles, masks. Somehow it turned not the way I wanted, but… well it’s late October and Halloween is tomorrow… so it inspires me in some strange, creepy way…  The poem reminds me something about Jeff the killer from Creepypasta… I’m not an expert on that… but what brings me my Muse, I’m accepting gladly...

Childish fears and autumn leaves

Childish fears and autumn leaves

You asked me once…

What if autumn takes my heart?

Covers it with leaves

And colors the way it likes?

So I won’t be able to recognize it?

What if I’ll be heartless?

Living, but loving no one,

What if I turn faceless?

Like one of the leaves in the Fall…

No one will know the difference,

Who can tell leaves apart?

They all are nameless,

So will be I…

And I’ll cry with the rain for my heart,

Till autumn returns it cold and numb,

So winter could steal it, again,

Leaving me with empty hands.

But where’s your heart?

Is it in your chest, beating?

Or spring took it?

And summer burned it?

And I had nothing to answer…

© Laura Dambite, 2014.

Where this came from, I don’t know, it’s autumn’s fault… I think… Just remembered how a child asked me such things…

She was afraid that seasons change and her heart’s changing too, that one day she’ll wake and won’t be able to separate lie from truth… that she won’t recognize herself and others won’t tell, what’s wrong with her, when she looks the same, won’t see the change, she’s going through…

Is she me? Is she you? Is she someone we know or knew? I know the answer, so do you…

Hello, my no one (Thoughts)

I know, you believe that your life has no meaning, you’re nothing more than rain drop falling down. Only to see how fast life runs by and how easy is it to crash against the cold ground. Meaningless, worthless like the cold rain in autumn morning, raining only to prove everything comes to an end and everything dies. Hitting hard against black umbrellas, like people already don’t hate it enough.

But dear no one, rain is nothing more, but life itself.

And, yes, it’s knocking, calling everyone out to close the umbrellas of ignorance and face the open sore, they try to push aside. People nowadays are afraid of living, afraid that one day they’ll realize, they’re nobody and their endless run means nothing.

They’re afraid to stop, question everything, they’re afraid to be you, to stand in the rain, to show the world how broken they are.

But are you broken? Did you ever were whole? Complete? Normal? Different? Maybe yourself? Someone else?

And did you ever felt, that we are living in some sick fantasy of a norm created by a psycho from a daydream about a perfect society?

Autumn’s path

Autumn’s path

Wind,

Blow me away,

Can I be just a falling leaf?

Weak, defenseless summer’s thief.

Rain,

Wash me clean,

From the doubt under my skin,

Take me away from the world of make believe.

Sun,

Kiss me goodbye,

I’ll treasure days under blue sky,

They’ll shine in my eye.

Earth,

Tell me again,

Flowers aren’t forever gone,

Give me strength to move on.

© Laura Dambite, 2014,

Autumn is completely taken over me… and I don’t mind, it’s easy to find beauty in it, in everything autumn touches… even if it is a goodbye, it’s lovely one, a warm one… until the rain turns into snow…

But now all I want is to get lost in the autumn…